Creamed Onions, Reimagined

One Gourmet Magazine from 1986 and a week from hell later, and we have...

this weeks recipe.

I’ll start with hell week. You know the one. When the universe, with its peculiar sense of humor, decides everything—absolutely everything—is due. Every deadline converges, every task demands your immediate attention, your signature, your ID, your money, something breaks, something starts making a strange noise, an appointment you've already rescheduled twice needs to happen (and rescheduling again is simply not an option), and somehow, you can feel a cold creeping in.

That was me last week.

Naturally, I had no grand plans for this week’s newsletter. “But don’t you plan ahead?” you may be wondering. Yes, I do—usually. Most weeks, I’ve got my recipes lined up well in advance. But the recipe I had on deck just didn’t feel right, and it’s a long story—longer than you probably care to hear, and certainly longer than I care to tell.

Luckily, my mom has adorable friends. And one of them, while cleaning out her garage, stumbled upon a treasure trove: a pristine stack of Gourmet Magazines from the 1980s, still in their original plastic wrap. She lovingly gave the stack to my mom, who, being the thoughtful soul she is, knew I would get such a kick out of them. She brought one along on our trip to the coast last weekend. We spent the better part of an afternoon flipping through it, giggling and marveling, naturally, at all the hairstyles, but also at the sheer volume of cigarette and hard liquor ads. What a time to be alive.

Then, we got to the recipes. Since this was a November 1986 issue, the magazine was, of course, featuring its ideal Thanksgiving menu. And nestled among the dishes was a recipe for creamed onions. My mom’s face lit up like she had rediscovered a long-lost friend. “Oh my goodness, I love creamed onions! I completely forgot about them! They’re so delicious! I can’t remember the last time I had them. You should totally make these for your newsletter!”

Creamed onions? What is this 1896? I pictured an English housekeeper in a bonnet serving a creamed onions on a silver platter to her aristocratic master.

I paused, snatched the magazine from her hands, and studied the recipe, fully expecting it to be a relic from another era.

“This… actually looks pretty good,” I admitted. “With a few tweaks, it could be a great recipe.”

And so dear subscriber, that’s exactly what I did. I gave new life to what was already a classic—certainly not a boring dish by any means—but one that could use a little modern twist. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with tradition, but a few updates never hurt anyone.

First, I infused the heavy cream with